Plain Misunderstandings

Plain Misunderstandings

How one vowel changed a conversation

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My partner Jen and I have just bought a new home and the final accouterment we need is a door knocker for our new home. We’re both pilots, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that we are in the market for a door knocker in the shape of an airplane.

An airplane door knocker will suitably prepare any visitor for the gallery of aviation prints, posters and memorabilia they’re about to enter.  

Serendipitously, we find a store that specializes in door knockers. 

I think the owner missed a huge opportunity to call the place “nice knockers” but, I have the maturity of a 12-year old, so I keep that gem to myself.

Jen and the owner have a quick dialogue that I watch from the sidelines.

Jen flies right to the point, “We’re looking for a plane knocker.”

“Oh, we have plenty of those.” Ms Knocker’s voice reeks of dissatisfaction, as if to say her entire business model was predicated on providing a product her clientele could get nowhere else. And who are we to come crashing into her domain with a request just as easily filled by Lowe’s or Home Depot (author gains no commission or compensation from the aforementioned retailers).

We on the other hand are thrilled because neither Lowe’s, Home Depot nor Amazon had much in the way of airplane door knockers, the last piece of equipment for our aviation bunker.

We follow the owner to the very back of the store, passing through the cleavage of the racks of the best brass door knockers, you know, the breast ones. (See 12-year-old maturity level comment above)

Passing by dragonflies, pineapples and sailboats, we finally arrive at a shelf of simple, dull, ordinary door knockers.

With a wave of her hand, Ms Knockers dismissively says, “Here ya go.”

Jen now takes on the tone of disappointment, our trip seeming like a total bust, “These aren’t plane knockers.”

“Yes they are”

“We’re looking for plane knockers!”

“These ARE!”

“There is not one single plane knocker on this wall!”

“These are ALL plain knockers!” 

And with the substitution of one vowel, I immediately see the sea of misunderstanding that I hear here.

I could earn a medal for my mettle as a communication clarifier, “Ma’am, my partner and I are looking for an airplane door knocker.”

Any chance we had to be bosom buddies with Ms Knockers comes to a screeching halt as she grounds our search for an airplane door knocker, “Oh, I’m sorry, we don’t have any of those.” 

Jen knew exactly what she was saying and so did Ms Nice Knockers, but neither one of them was saying the same thing. They were just talking past and over each other.

Watching this plain-plane fight, I realize the individual biases we carry with us can sometimes fly us into chambers of misunderstanding. 

Our histories, experiences and influencers dictate our biases. If we’re not careful, those biases can get squeezed through unchecked and unverified which can lead to plain misunderstandings.