Support System

I’ve been selected to step onto the red circle of the TEDx stage in Youngstown, Ohio. 

Getting to this point has been no small feat.

The 1-minute application video that took me 2.5 hours to make should have been my first clue about the obstacle-laden, challenging and surprisingly rewarding road that lay ahead.

After months of script revisions and rehearsals and blocking (and learning what blocking even means), I am rehearsing with what will end up being the 98% final version of my script.

Jen has heard me give this version (and the 36 previous versions) multiple times, so much so that she knows it better than I do. She attends my rehearsals like a front-row groupie, mouthing the words of my script along with my delivery.

With the script under tight version control and my wardrobe selected, it’s time for the lesser logistics of actually getting to Youngstown, Ohio.

It finally dawns on me that Jen and I haven’t talked about responsible-adult things like dog care, transport, parking, house-sitting etc.

It also dawns on me that Jen and I haven’t even talked about her going with me to Youngstown.

I ease us into the conversation, “I don’t want to go to Youngstown alone.”

“I don’t blame you,” Jen offers from the sideline.

It really isn’t the response I’m looking for, so I let it sit for a couple of days and test the waters again, “I think I want someone to come with me when I go give my TEDx Talk.”

“I think that’s smart,” Jen noncommittally concurs.

Well, this isn’t going quite as I have planned and I need to start buying airline tickets, which means I need to provide the airline with legal names for the reservation.

Seeing as how my dilemma centers around a communication event, I decide to communicate more clearly with Jen.

“I want you to go with me to Youngstown.” There. Can’t get much more clear than that.

And Jen can’t be much more clear in her response, “No.”

“What?”

“I’m not the right person. Ask Katy to go with you.”

She’s right. She isn't the right person to accompany me to Youngstown. And even though Katy and I have only known each other for a few months, she is the absolute best choice. 

As a voice and performance instructor with a theater background, Katy guides me through breathing exercises, vocal warm-ups and energy management.

Jen cheers me on from miles away while Katy manages me through travel, meals, rehearsals, script revisions (the night before) and the green room (which isn’t actually green).

To this day, Jen’s response is one of the most powerful and selfless acts she’s made for me. She knew the best person to take care of me the way I needed to be managed wasn't her. And she suggested the very person who was.

As it turns out, the trip to Youngstown solidified a best friendship between Katy and I and has introduced Youngstown as a verb for Jen, Katy and I. When any of us needs someone else to take charge and make decisions, we tell them to “Youngstown it.”

I hope you have selfless people in your life who step up and Youngstown you when you need it, knowing that you’ll Youngstown them whenever they need it.